The country seems to have reached a tipping point with the recent murder of George Floyd. While countless incidents similar to this have occurred repeatedly throughout our history, many are saying that the movement going on right now feels different than those before and that there might be real change ahead in terms of race relations and inclusiveness. The world is looking on as well, which could lead to changes globally.
As a privileged white person, I have not experienced the conditions that are expressed by my friends of color. I worked in the field of clinical social work for forty years and specialized in trauma and abuse, women’s issues, depression and anxiety. Countless hours were spent listening to people, of all races and from many walks of life, tell their truths and express their feelings of hopelessness and despair, as well as their insights and triumphs over life’s circumstances. While I have not confronted even a fraction of the abominations that many of my clients have, I felt able to sit with them, to respect their process and to offer empathy and support.
In light of the current Black Lives Matter movement, I have begun to look back over some of my work and now question how effective I actually may have been to someone suffering some of these atrocities when I had no real life frame of reference. I am unashamedly a bleeding heart liberal, which, in part, means that I believe in helping the underdog. I will be the first to stand up for someone who is being mistreated and I believe in equality for all human beings. That being said, do I really understand the plight of the Black experience over centuries? No, I do not.
These past couple of weeks, I have read and listened to many people of color express their sorrow and pain over mistreatment that they and their ancestors have dealt with at the hands of, not just police, but white people in general. An article came across my Facebook page by Shola Richards, author and keynote speaker, titled You Asked, I Answered: 7 Difficult Questions About Racism. I have now read it three times and shared it with others and am still trying to digest it all. What a wakeup call for this 62 year old woman who thought she was the most open-minded and thoughtful person towards all people different than myself. In reading the seven questions, I realized that I myself had asked some of those questions. But I had not had real conversations with people who could answer them! I have felt ashamed and ignorant as I let the words of those affected sink in.
- The good news here is that there does seem to be a turning point this time in the struggle that has gone on for all time. People like myself are starting to really listen and to begin to understand on a different level. My challenge to others like myself is the following:
- Don’t assume you know or understand another person’s situation just because you care and want to help.
- Listen, listen, listen. If all of us did this more often, the world would be a better place. I have known this as a social worker and am pretty skilled at doing it, but it has taken on a whole new meaning for me now and I plan to try harder.
- Let people representing the BLM lead us as to what they need and how we can be helpful. Assuming that we know what is best for our Black neighbors is part of the problem.
My work in the field and the way I have lived my life have been well-intentioned and I know I have helped many people who have sought mental health care and others who personally have been my friends. Yet, I am now trying to view the work ahead with a different lens and hope to have meaningful conversations in the days/weeks/years to come to be part of the solution. Our task ahead is not insurmountable, but urgent and oh so important nonetheless. We must move forward! We humans are all at different stages of wakefulness and progress. Let’s keep the momentum going for a more equitable, just and fair world. It is not too late to start listening to one another!
Leslie Hoyle Guerra
Retired Clinical Social Worker
Precinct Captain, Sem Dems